Which day of the week do chickens hate most? Fry-day!
Wife: I wonder what's going on at the next door.
Husband: It's a birthday party!
Wife: Whose birthday party is it?
Husband: I'm sure it's Tuyu's
Wife: How did you know?
... Husband: I heard them singing 'happy birthday Tuyu
Wife: Lol...Tuyu ko! Tuya ni! ....
bush man
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank God, I thought I was crippled."
In bio practical:
Examiner:Tell me the name of this bird by seeing it’s legs only?
Banta:I don’t know.
Examiner:You failed, what’s your name?
Banta:See my legs & tell my name
Daddy," said a six-year-old boy, "I'd like to get married."
"Sure, son." said his father. "Anyone special in mind?"
"Yes," answered the boy. "Grandma... She’s quite nice" "Now,
wait a minute boy," said his father. "You don't think I'd let you marry my mother, do you!!"
"Why not?" the boy asked. "Remember you married mine also......lol
there is waz dis pastor wey dey thief church money everytime they're in prayer, he will make sure evry1 close his/ha eyes b4 he will start 2 pray. so one day afta d oferin he ordered evry1 2 close him eye mak dem pray, of course as usual evry1 did, he started prayin............d pastor then deep his hands in2 d oferin bowl pack some money and wen he wanted to put d money into his pocket he opened his eyes to look around he meet eye to eye with one elder who came late, d pastor waz very brave to say BLESSED ARE THOSE THAT SEE AND KEEP QUITE and d elder replied FOR THEY SHALL RECEIVE THEIR REWARD AFTER THE SERMON. as in they will share the money afta d church
Judge to Child...
Do you want to live with your mum?
Child... No.
Judge... Why?
Child... She beats me.
Judge... Do you want to leave with Dad?
Child.. No...
Judge... Why?
Child.. Because he beats me.
Judge... Who do you want to leave with?
Child. Super eagles. Because they never beat anyone...
A boy goes to see a dance.
His mom angrily asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
Boy: yes, I saw dad!
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn`t come back yet! Santa: Why don`t u cook something else.
Girl:It’s 2 tight
Boy:Don’t worry,I’ll do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I can’t,
Gal:It’s painful,
Boy:Forget it.
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We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!
Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher: “can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”
Boy said to girl : “see i told you not to worry!!!!”.
A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin and say that i will do anything to pass in the exams and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR
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Books And Study. lOL
1 day child fish ask da mother fish: Mom y we cant live on Earth ......
Da Mother fish said 2 her child fish: Dear ....its not a place 4 fish...its a place of selfish...
NURSE kept SEKOLA'S FINGER in HER MOUTH after BLOOD TEST. THEN SEKOLA STARTED DANCING .
NURSE:y r u DANCING.
SEKOLA: next is URINE TEST
A MAN SAYS 2 HIS WIFE: TELL ME SOMETHING THAT'LL MAKE ME HAPPY AND MAD AT THE SAME TIME. THE WIFE SAYS: YUR d*ck IS BIGGER THAN YOUR BROTHER'S
Sardar on phone: Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking… SEE MUMU.
Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS: “Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back: “When I am sick I kiss my wife try it” 2 hours later
sardar sms 2 boss: “Me ok, ur wife very sweet”
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can
there be greater than this one?"
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman…
“Mr Cook?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.”
I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
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